I wrote a new song.....

Since I'm not a musician, this is sung to the tune of "Watching Scotty Grow".

Watching Walker Poop

There he sits and acts just like a butt
He's an ornery mutt
But that's my dog

"Err-eeer Grrwl Grrwl" means "eff you, 'Nette"
When I say we're going to the vet
But that's my dog

Well you can have your kitty and your hamster
You can have your nasty horny toad
I'll sit here with my puppy dog here
While he's barking at a biking group
Biding my time and watching Walker poop

Rippin' toys apart
and snarling at Nancy Grace
He's makes a purty face
That's my dog

His fuzzy mouse toy sounds just like a goat
Cause Aston ripped his throat
That's my dog

In four short years, we gained two manic pansies
What we did before that I don't know
Aston sits and begs and humps my leg
While I stand with my handy scoop
Yawning and waiting and
Watching Walker poop

Ass up on his shoulders and off to bed
Ole poopy head
That's my dog

Gotta have a drink of water and a place to p*ss
Aim for Aston and miss
That's my dog

What's that you say dear,
Come on and keep your feet warm
Save me a place I'll be there in a minute or so
Walker come here, get your ass in gear
Get out from under the back deck stoop
Me and Aston are watching Walker poop

Catching Up!

Well, since I haven't written anything in almost a month I thought I would let everyone know what I've been up to.

I've been over at the ajc blog message boards putting in my two cents worth.

The other day, there was a big brouhaha about who has the best pizza in Atlanta. What I want to know is how come every single time pizza is discussed, all these yahoos from NY, Chicago, etc. come out of the woodwork, rag on local pizzarias, and claim that absolutely no pizza comes close to THEIR pizza.

So me (as Raylene) spouted off that since I (as Raylene) was from Boston and Boston's pizza kicked both NY and Chicago pizza's a$$.

Of course, all of the Yankees kept arguing amongst themselves about where to get pizza that "comes close, but no cigar" to their particular 'hood.

So....I became "Larry." Larry decided to lob a grenade into this debate by offering the following comment:

Y’all all crazy!

Tony’s Pizza from Krogers is the best. Second freezer case on the middle shelf. Tony’s makes NY Pizza taste like dogfood.

Well, that was fun. So much fun that I decided to join in today's great debate.

Apparently, Paula Deen paid a little visit to the henfest known as "The View". Paula's got a new cookbook out and was doing a little book tour.

Well, apparently the Mutha hen (mispelling intentional!) aka Barbara Walters took it upon herself to chastise Paula Deen for making kids fat.

Now I don't know 'bout anybody else, but NOBODY messes with my girl Paula! Paula is the epitome of Southern, she can cook like nobody's business, and is the mama of two of the finest specimens of men residing in the state of Georgia.

And she don't do wussified cooking; she cooks like Grandma.

If the recipe calls for butter, she uses BUTTER....not margarine. If the recipe calls for cream, she uses CREAM....not skim milk. If the recipe calls for eggs, she puts the whole dern egg in....not just the egg white.

I don't know exactly what bee crawled up Barbara's butt today, but everybody (including me) ripped Barbara a new one for messin' with Paula.

For my part, I opted for a new persona....baba wawa.

Baba Wawa opined that perhaps Barbara's problem was that she had missed a few days worth of Activia yogurts.

And she offered up this play on an old joke...about a fictional conversation that took place shortly after Paula's visit:

Paula: "So, Barbara…where are ya’ll from?”

Baba: “I’m from a place where we don’t end our sentences with prepositions.”

Paula: “Okay, where are ya’ll from, bitch?”

Then I sprung on over to the paulding.com message boards to see what was going on over there.

My peeps did not disappoint.

Apparently there is a persistent rumor that the county is going to shut off water indefinitely due to the flood. (They're not.)

Someone else wants to know if there is any truth to the rumor that Paulding schools will remain closed until at least Monday. (Keep in mind it is now just Tuesday evening.)

Then this poll...(I swear, this is an actual poll on the board): If your job closes because of the weather should they pay you? I didn't respond, but some smarty did and said they should have shown up and clock in and stay there for 8 hours just to show them.

Then I switched the TV over to Fox News and the hilarity just continues!

Barney Frank has actually found a way to blame the ACORN scandal on George Bush! Barney Frank looks like Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace and sounds like Sylvester the Cat.

I'd also like to offer a heartfelt congratulations to ABC's George Stephanopoulos on his recent addition. Unbeknownst to everyone, George has been quietly cultivating a new set of b@lls and managed to prominently display them during his recent interview with Obama by getting into a little debate as to what is the definition of the word "tax." Congrats, George! Keep up the good work.

Well....that's about all I got for now. Gotta go to bed.

'Nite all!

PS....on behalf of my sister-in-law...Hey! Canada!! YOU SUCK!