Wimpy was our next door neighbor. His real name was Paul, but everyone called him Wimpy...yes, Wimpy as in the old cartoon character that always said "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." I don't remember if our Wimpy liked hamburgers, but I do know he liked beer.
Frank lived on the other side of Wimpy. Frank also liked beer. Beer was one of his job benefits because for a while he was a beer distributor.
Remember in the previous posting, I mentioned that all the kids liked to pick on each other? Well, it wasn't just the kids.
Once upon a time, Wimpy got a new car and decided to sell his old one.
He stuck a sign on it with his phone number, parked the car out in his front yard waited for someone to call. And waited. And waited. And waited.
One day, Frank decided to pull one over on Wimpy. (Keep in mind this was WAY before caller id had been invented.)
Frank called up Wimpy and disguised his voice.
F: Hey. A friend o' mine told me you had a car for sale for $1500.
W: Yeah, I do.
F: Well...tell me about it.
W: Well...whaddya wanna know about it?
F: What kind is it?
W: Buick Skylark.
F: What color?
W: Pale yellow with black vinyl top.
F: Run good?
W: Yeah.
F: How many miles on it?
W: Oh, 'bout 70,000.
F: Has it ever been in a wreck?
W: Nope. The body's in good shape and it's got a fresh coat of wax on it.
F: What about the interior?
W: It's clean and looks good.
F: Good tires?
W: Yeah, tires are good.
F: Hmmmm...so why you sellin' it?
W: Got a new one for my wife, I've got a truck, so we really don't need this one.
F: You know what I'd do with it if I were you?
W: What's that?
F: I'd turn it sideways and shove it up your a**, cause ain't nobody in his right mind givin' you $1500 for that piece of sh*t!
Frank then called everyone in the neighborhood and asked them to call Wimpy to ask if anyone had called him about the car.
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