How I Spent My Birthday Weekend

Slowly , but surely, I am making a miraculous recovery from the Paulding County Plague.

Actually, if I didn't know better, I would say that I might have had a touch of that swine flu that has been going around.

I haven't been to Mexico, but on Wednesday morning I stopped at the McDonalds on Hwy 41 and got a sausage biscuit. It was served to me by a little Mexican girl at the drive thru. Shortly thereafter, I developed a small tingle in the back of my throat and by Wednesday afternoon it had developed into a full on sore throat. Coincidence? Maybe.....maybe not.

Anyway, I didn't bother going into work on Thursday for several reasons....the first being that I really felt like absolute crap. Secondly, I didn't want to be the cause of anyone catching this mess and blaming it on me because I decided to drag myself in and cough and hack all over the place. And lastly....well.....my boss was on vacation. So, why not?

The only down side to the whole thing was that it was a gorgeous week, I didn't go to work on Thursday or Friday and I slept all day on both days. Plus, several people knew that my birthday this weekend and they also knew that my boss was on vacation this week so I'm sure there was some eyeball rolling going on when they found out I was sick.

So....for all the naysayers.....I have the used Kleenex to prove it!

Speaking of which.....a long time ago, I said that I wished that someone would invent a pill to take so that when you got a cold, you could take the pill and then just blow your nose continuously for about 24 hours.

Well...there is such a pill. It's called Mucinex D. Except you just blow your nose continuously for about 48 to 72 hours. Mucinex D is like ExLax for the nose. You take that pill and just wait. When that thing hits, you better have a couple of boxes of Kleenex handy because it becomes snot city in no time.

OK....so Thursday and Friday I was pretty much out of it.

Saturday was the day that my parents were traveling back from Florida, so I just pretty much did what I did on Thursday and Friday....slept. Until my parents got home.

So they arrived back home around 5:00. I came over and my older brother and sister in law came over. My parents dog had roomed with Ron and Nancy during the week, so they brought her back home.

And here's where the fun begins.

First off, let me explain a little something about my brother and sister in law. They live in this uber-cool log home in Cartersville. The house absolutely kicks a$$. Seriously. Huge living room, upstairs loft master bedroom, two smaller downstairs bedrooms and a basement. UIt's just the right size for the two of them.

The really cool thing is that to get to the house, you have to go up this narrow, winding road and because of the location, it's almost like being in Highlands, NC. Some of the houses near theirs are ALSO log, but some are these HUGE estate mini mansions, but it is just so neat!

Unfortunately, one of the downsides of having a log home is that apparently carpenter bees love them. These nasty little bugs will drill a perfectly round hole into a plank of wood and lay a carpenter bee egg so that these future spawn can come alive and do even MORE damage.

So....part of our family conversation on Saturday night was the carpenter bee issue. They've returned and are once again eating into the wood of my brother's home.

As luck would have it, in my Mucinex-induced coma on Saturday, I vaguely remembered hearing the Saturday morning bug guy show on WSB radio. Someone had called in wanting to know how to get rid of carpenter bees.

According to the bug guy, most of the insectides for these bees are useless because the government has outlawed the most effective chemicals. (Thanks, government!)

So...the bug guy suggested getting an oversized badmittton racket and beating the sh*t out of them when you see them.

I relayed that bit of expert advice to Nancy.

Here's where it gets funny!

My dad left the room for a minute and returned with this yellow badmitton racket....except it wasn't really a racket.

He handed it to Nancy and told her to try it.

He said...."Here's what you do. When you see the bee, you just mash this black button and just put the thing over the bee. But you have to make sure you have the button mashed when you put it on the bee."

Nancy said "What happens?"

Ron said "Give it to me. I see a mosquito.....let me try."

Nancy handed him the racket. Ron waited for the mosquito to land, then he mashed the button and put the racket over the mosquito.

"ZAP!!!! Sizzle........" and the mosquito immediately became a crispy critter. It was SO COOL!!!

That thing wasn't a racket....it was a hand held bug zapper!

My mom saw another mosquito. Nancy said "Let me try!!!!" Ron gave the racket back to her.

The mosquito landed....Nancy mashed the button and placed the racket over the mosquito.

"ZAP!!!! Sizzle........" Crispy critter number two!

We all had a great laugh with it. Turns out this thing is part of my dad's spring and summer entertainment! When he sits outside, he has this thing with him and when the mosquitos buzz by, he zaps them.

Their neighbors put in an above ground pool last year and the mosquitos have been heavier than in the past. My dad said that they came over one night because they heard the SNAP, CRACKLE, POP, ZAP and thought there was some sort of electrical problem with my dad's flood lights. Nope.....just my dad zapping skeeters!

So Nancy was extremely excited to have a weapon against the carpenter bees.

Can't wait to hear how it turned out!

Now....Mother's Day is coming up. Want a great gift idea? Hand held bug zapper. She'll love it.