Somebody's Gotta Say It

This topic is not for the faint of heart, so be forewarned. It concerns "The Ladies Room" at my office, which I am now officially renaming to "The HellHole."

If you want to know why, you'd just have to visit. I swear, if the only restroom left in the world was "The HellHole" at my office and the men's room of an Alabama truckstop, I think the truckstop would be cleaner.

After seeing the condition "The HellHole" is left in after these women use it, it makes you wonder if they do the same thing at home.

Without getting too graphic, let me just say this.

That little handle thingy on the back of the toilet? If you push it down, it flushes the toilet!! Try it sometime!!! (For the love of Mike, PLEASE!!!!!!)

The only saving grace in this sad tale of woe is that because "The HellHole" does not have an electrical plug, it does not fall to the Information Technology Department to handle.

Now....for the other thing. What's the first thing you were taught as part of the potty training process? WASH YOUR HANDS!!! Some people have forgotten that. That's just nasty.

So.....I decided to write a little song and dedicate to the guilty parties that leave their DNA all over "The HellHole." It's sung to the tune of that Terri Gibbs song, "Somebody's Knockin".

Somebody's poopin'
Should I go on in?
Inhaled a nosefull
My head starts to spin

I heard about it
But I never smelled
Poo straight out of hell

Well somebody's flushing
And wiping their butts
And then they don't wash
Are they friggin' nuts?

I've thought about it
And bet my last buck
No more office pot luck

She must have had Tex Mex last night
Ate two burritos, gastronomical fright
Oh No!!!!
She mentioned sushi
and my nose starts to burn
Oh when will I learn?

Somebody's poopin'
Should I wait or go?
Sounds like a big one
Back up 'fore she blows!

I'm getting sicker
And starting to feel
I might lose a meal...........