Former Classmates

A while back I got a notice in the mail. The SCHS Class of 1978 is planning their 30 year reunion.

I have no idea if I am going to go or not. And, no it's not because it's too far away, or because they are not having barbecue and stew, or it's covered dish, etc. I just don't know if I want to spend a Saturday evening (and $85) to see a bunch of people that I have not seen since graduation.

But it did get me to thinking about some people and wondering what ever happened to them.

For example, in my first grade class, there was a boy named Warren. Warren's claim to fame came on the days that they served hamburgers or hotdogs in the lunchroom. Back then, on hamburger or hotdog day, the lunchroom ladies stuck little plastic red and yellow bottles on each table that contained ketchup and mustard.

Warren apparently loved ketchup. He loved it so much that he would pick up the bottle and suck it. Then came the cries of: "Mrs. Bynum.....Warren's sucking the ketchup bottle!" and "Eeewwww....Warren!!"

Mrs. Bynum would just take note. Then when we got back to the classroom, she would pull out her trusty Cobb County Board of Education-issued Bolo paddle and wear Warren's butt out in front of the classroom. He would start crying and run back to his desk and sulk the rest of the afternoon.

I've thought of Warren often over the years. He'd be 48 now. I wonder if he still sucks the ketchup bottle? (I just reread that sentence. Somehow, that just sounds so very wrong....but I'll just leave it alone.)

Mike was a guy that was in my 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. His claim to fame? He had an absolutely awful temper. He pitched tantrums in the class. We're talking throwing things across the room, slamming doors and kicking over desk-type tantrums.

The way my 4th grade teacher handled it was to make him leave the room. The principal patrolled the hallways and if he saw anyone in the hallways without a hallpass he would escort them back to his office for a little good time butt paddling with his Cobb County Board of Education-issued Bolo paddle.

But while we were waiting for Mr. Jones to pick up the perp, Mike would begin banging his head against the wall. He would start out with one bump. Then another, and another until the whole room began shaking from the vibration. The teacher would walk outside and tell Mike to knock it off.

He'd wait until she walked back in the room and it would start all over again. Mr. Jones, the principal would finally fetch him to give him the aforementioned buttwhipping. By the time he got to high school, he had tamed down considerably. I have no idea what happened to him. Maybe all that banging his head against the wall finally knocked some sense into him.

Then there was this girl that lived down the street. Her name was Pam and she was the same age as I was, but a grade behind me because she had failed a grade. I think after that she had just been promoted just for the sake of promoting. I knew her well enough to know that her spelling was awful and Jethro Bodine could beat her at cyphering with one hand tied behind his back. It's a shame because looking back she probably had a learning disability, but at that time there were no special education classes for kids.

Anyway, she met a boy in eighth grade. He was her academic equal. After they finished eighth grade, both of them quit school and got married. They were 15 at the time. I have no idea if they are still together or not.

So I still don't know if I want to go to the reunion or not. But the one thing I do know is that since Warren was not at my high school, I don't have to worry that he'll be there sucking the ketchup bottle. (I'm just going to leave that alone.)