Hot Topics

So Friday, a fellow coworker and I were chatting about the latest news of the day.

Since we've practically beat our usual topic of the day to death ("What Obama has done/said to p*ss me off today"), we changed the subject.

Friday's hot topic was about the fact that Chastity Bono is in the process of having a sex change. For the folks in Paulding, let me put in in plain English. Chastity is getting a hoo-hoo.

Now...before we go any further let me just explain something. If you're coming here looking for someone that is bashing or defending Chastity's decision, you've come to the wrong place.

I could care less if Chastity/Chaz (what he's now called) is getting a hoo-hoo. When it comes to stuff like this, the first thing I always ask myself is how this affects the most important person to me (that would be....me!). Obviously, Chaz's new hoo-hoo doesn't impact me, at all.

Our discussion on Friday pertained to the insurance aspect of this procedure. Specifically, whether our company plan would pay for it. Then we realized something.....WE HAVE KAISER!!!!!! Oh, we laughed about that for about five minutes.

But curiousity got the best of me, so I pulled out our Evidence of Coverage booklet just to be sure. Sure enough, sex change surgery is specifically excluded, so any of you guys that I work with that were considering it I'm sorry to disappoint. Take it up with human resources.

So, we began discussing the "what ifs"....what if Kaiser DID cover it?

We decided that if you're going from female to male, the hoo-hoo is of primary importance. But being all to familiar with Kaiser's restrictions, we pretty much agreed that Kaiser would only cover a hoo-hoo of about 3-4 inches max. They would consider that to be reasonable and customary. If you wanted a bigger hoo-hoo, it would have to be an out of pocket expense.

Then, there's another issue. As a woman, you are entitled to certain procedures every year as part of the wellness exam. Now, after your surgery, you have no boobs and no hoo-hah. Would you get a break on your insurance? Then we remembered.....WE'RE TALKING ABOUT KAISER!!!! So the answer is obvious.

How about this scenario.....you're a man and you're changing into a woman. Do you go to the hoo-hah doctor, when the surgery is complete? From what we were able to understand, the surgeon makes the hoo-hoo into a hoo-hah so that it WORKS similar to a hoo-hah, but it isn't a REAL hoo-hah so technically, I guess you wouldn't go get an annual hoo-hah inspection.

Here's another. Kaiser doesn't pay for cosmetic surgery, so what would they do about the boob job that a man turning into a woman would need? My guess is that they would pay for 7 pairs of Great Value Men's tube socks (1 pair for each day) and tell you to pretend like you're a ninth grade cheerleader and "stuff 'em."

Then there's the BIG question.....how do you classify this type of surgery as a success?

For instance, is Chaz now going to hog the remote control, refuse to ask for or read directions, and leave the toilet seat up?

Which brings us back full circle to "What Obama has said/done to p*ss me off today." He is trying to ramrod a healthcare bill through Congress and no one can answer any question to my satisfaction of how, exactly, will this plan be paid for.

So, here's another question: Is there going to be a provision in the government plan to pay for this type of surgery? Again, I don't care if anyone gets it.....I just don't want to have to pay for it. So, tomorrow, I'm going to write Obama a letter and recommend Kaiser as the goverment plan.

I suggest you all do the same.