Trash TV

I have a guilty pleasure....it's called Trash TV.

My definition of Trash TV is any sort of show that has absolutely no redeeming qualities and real people that you care absolutely nothing about.

Trash TV is like a train wreck...if you're flipping the remote around and you land on a Trash TV show, you feel like you have to watch it....then when it's over with you realize that is one hour in your life you will never get back.

So........

I decided to do a little reviewing of some of the Trash TV shows I have seen.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians"

Now....why E! thinks I need to keep up with the Kardashians, I don't really know.

The Kardashian family consists of Bruce Jenner (dude....the years have not been kind. And that plastic surgery you had a few weeks ago? I'd get my money back!). Bruce is sort of the hapless dad that the entire family just walks all over. My guess is that during part of that plastic surgery, the surgeon removed his cajones because he is major wuss.

Bruce is married to this gold digger named Kris, who just so happens to be the ex-wife of the late attorney, Robert Kardashian. If that name rings a bell, he was one of OJ's lawyers....yeah, THAT OJ. Kris "manages" her daughters' careers. (more on that later.)

Bruce and Kris have two daughters, Kylie and Kendall who are preteens.

Then there are Kris' children that she had with Robert: Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, and Rob.

Kim's claim to fame is that she has a big butt. Oh....and she made a sex tape. Oh....and her mom pimped her out to Hef for a Playboy cover. Oh...and she made an intimate calendar for her boyfriend for his birthday, her mom found it and sent it out to a publisher for sale to the general public. (That Kris! What a wisenheimer!)

Khloe's claim to fame is that she actually has a job! She runs the family store. Oh....and she posed nude for a PETA poster. (Hmmm.....Do you think Kris had anything to do with.....naaaahhh!)

Kourtney's claim to fame is, well, I haven't quite figured it out yet....but I'm sure Kris has something in the hopper for her.

Same thing with Rob.

This was the plot of a recent episode. The girls decided that Kris wanted to have another baby so they got her a baby monkey. Well, now THAT certainly makes sense!

Now....I have no idea if Kris wanted a baby or not, but I'm just going to say this. Kris has had a total of six kids. Bruce has ALSO had a total of six kids.

You two need to get another hobby, if you get my drift.

"Tori and Dean"

The Tori in question is Tori Spelling, the daughter of the late television producer Aaron Spelling. The Dean in question is her husband, Dean something or other.

Tori wants everyone to know they are nothing special....they're just a normal couple.

Here's a little background. Both Tori and Dean were married to other people at one time. They worked on a movie together, cheated on their spouses and dumped them so they could get married. (That's just so Hollywood!) And they've popped out a couple of kids.

Tori and her mom do not appear to be on speaking terms. According to her mom Candy, she's never seen her granddaughter, even though she is almost a year old.

According to Tori, her mom is welcome to see her anytime.

According to Candy, she has no idea where Tori lives.

According to Tori, that's a lie.

According to Candy, is not!

The conclusion to this exciting episode is next week. My TIVO is ready....is yours?

"Rock of Love" (or as I like to call it, Skank Parade)

This show is like the grandaddy of Trash TV....mainly because it's star may as well be a grandaddy.

The star is Bret Michaels, who is/was (who knows?) the lead singer of one of the hairiest hair bands of all time, Poison.

Bret, it seems, is looking for love.

Here are his requirements: Dumb, blonde, tattoos, and big ole boobs....and I do mean big. These girls are absolute dishes.....petri dishes, that is. I mean they put the "sk" in skank!

Every episode has a good cat fight in it....completely with hair pulling, smack downs, and in the end...tears.

Well, Bret didn't find his true love on season 1; he didn't find it in Season 2; he picked someone several weeks ago in Season 3. My guess is that we're going to be hearing about a wedding anyday now. (Wonder if she'll be wearing white?)

"Countdown With Keith Olbermann"

hahaha! (sorry, I couldn't resist!)