Movie Review: An American Carol

Ok........

I'm officially on vacation for the next week, so I'm doing whatever I want. Today, I wanted to go to the movies.

I decided to go to the 12:05 showing of "An American Carol" for two reasons:

1) Since it was the first screening, I would actually be able to sit in a clean theatre
2) Everyone else would either be at church or leaving church and eating at one of Paulding's many fine dining establishments like Hooters. (Yes, I saw a family of 4 well dressed Paulding citizens in their Sunday finery, so I'm assuming they had been to church; they parked their car and headed into Hooters. Somehow, that just seems wrong. But then again, I do live in Paulding. Where someone in one of the houses along Hwy 92 actually has Confederate flag living room curtains.)

Either way, the people that make going to the movies such a horrible experience these days (the ones that talk on their cell phones, talk to each other, run up and down the aisles, yell across the theatre, etc during the movie...and that's just the people from the Senior Center on one of their day outings!) more than likely would not be there.

So....here's my review:

First off, it really makes you think about where you live when you see the local advertisers flash their ads on the screen while waiting for the movie to begin:

• Paulding County Quick Bail
• Lucky Draw Tattoo and Body Piercing (Opening a second location, soon!)
  
• Special Thanks to the Hiram Police Department for providing on site officers for the safety and security of our patrons.

Boy, don't I feel proud!!

Coming Attractions:

W.: Another Oliver Stone pack of lies that people are probably going to pay to see. Here's a word of warning, though. It stars Josh Brolin. What difference does that make, you ask? He's James Brolin's son. What difference does that make, you ask? James Brolin happens to be Mr. Barbra Streisand. Here's a link to some of Heir Streisand's ramblings.

OK....I might be stretching it by connecting that series of dots, but in all honesty so does Oliver Stone. I will give him credit, though. The soundtrack sounds AWESOME! George Jones sings the absolute best version of "Amazing Grace" I've ever heard.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley: Looks like a Carrie re-do. Also looks like it sucks.

Max Payne: Yawn.

The Uninvited: This one actually looks pretty good. Looks kind of like a combination of "The 6th Sense" and "The Others." Too bad it isn't being released until January 2009.

OK....

Now for the movie review:

The guy playing Michael Malone could actually be Michael Moore's brother. He's actually Chris Farley's brother. I got a chuckle out of his nieces and nephew constantly referring to Malone as "Uncle Lardass", "Uncle Asshole", etc. because I imagine that's exactly how Micheal Moore's nieces and nephews refer to him. Everything that you ever wished would happen to Micheal Moore pretty much happens to this guy....and that's a good thing.

Leslie Nielson plays a Grandpa telling the story of Micheal Malone. Typical Leslie Nielson role in a Zucker movie.

Kelsey Grammer as General Patton: Personally, I think Clint Eastwood would have been a better pick, but I guess he was too busy directing "The Changeling" (opening October 31).
Grammer was OK....nothing to write home about.

Trace Atkins as "The Angel of Death": Trace is kind of scary, anyway, so it really wasn't too big of a reach.

Bill O'Reilley as himself: Actually, he didn't seem to be as big of a jerk in the movie as he can be on TV. Go figure.

Whoever it was playing "Rosie O'Connell": She had the accent down pat. She was actually as obnoxious as Rosie.

The Three Terrorists: Think an Afghani version of "The Three Stooges"....except The Stooges were funnier.

Overall opinion.....save $6 (matinee price) and wait for the DVD rental.