Jive Talkin'.....Part Two!

OK....none of this is going to make any sense unless you've read my previous posting. Be forewarned, though....it is EXTREMELY politically incorrect. So, if you are easily offended, don't bother reading it. With that said, save yourself some time and don't bother reading this post, either.

Click HERE to read previous post.

Now.....after writing that piece, I realized exactly how politically incorrect it was. But then, after waking up and hearing the events of today with North Korea, I couldn't help myself and decided to create a part two. So....if you're going to be offended by this, blame it on Kim Jong Il.

Jive Talkin'.....Part Two.

So...dis mornin' W hawk up DC on da fly and he say "'Sup DC? You heard?"

DC, he say "Straight up, W.....Straight up. Do you BAH-LIEVE dat sheot?"

W, he say "Whud O-Man gon do now wonder? I glad I outta dat mess."

DC, he say "True dat! Word....(snicker) know whad I done did?"

W, he say "No man....whad you done did?"

DC, he say "I done called up O-Man and messed wid 'em."

W, he say "Oh no you dit unt."

DC, he say "Oh yeah I dit."

W, he say "DC....you so bad....(snicker)....whacu you did?"

DC, he say "Well, I up late las night playin' Grand Theft Auto on da Wii....W, you needs to get one o dem Wiis. Days shizzle....fo real shizzle....anyways, da cable gets broke into and I taught....oh no....whad hatnen now....and they say on da news da Nawt Ko-rea done tested a bomb....for real. So looked at my watch...it's about 3am, so I says to my self, I gone call O-Man and give him his 3am wake up call."

W, he say "Oh no you dit unt."

DC, he say "Oh yeah I dit. Listen up. I call up ole cracker house and spoke to dah night operator, Shanay. I say hey lil mama, how you doin' wit yo fine self? She say "who dis?" I say Shanay, I only be gone a few months an you forgot me already. It's DC. She say "DC....did you fo get to change yo speed dial? W don stays here no mo. Dis be O-Man's crib now." I say I know dat lil mama...dat's who I call to talk to. Get 'em." Shanay....she almost pop dat weave! She say "DC....it's 3am. O-Man in bed....you call back tomorrow. He usually be up by 2pm....don call fo dat doe 'cause he still be sleepin'. I say "Shanay....I needs to talk to da man...seriously. It's a matter of national securi-tie." She say "Are you fo real....if I go wake him up, he gon be mad." I say "Shanay, just go get him.....I'll take responsibility for it." Shanay, she say, "Yeah...dat's what Shorell's daddy say when I tole him he gon be a daddy. He say he gon get a paper and get a job and dat was leven months ago and I ain't seen em since....but I'll go get O-Man."

W...he jes a chucklin'. "DC....you IS a mess! So den whud happen?"

DC, he say, "Well, O-Man gets to da phone. He say "Who dis?" I say "It DC. So....houz dat dialogue goin' wid Nawt Ko-rea?"

O-Man, he say, "DC....do you know what time it be? Jes let it go man...."

I say, "Let it go? Let it go? Ole KJ dun dropped a A bomb and you say let it go? Well, you is a lil beotch. Ole Rush, and Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly gon have a field day when I tell 'em wha you jes say."

O-Man, he say "DC...whatchu talkin' bout."

I say, "Man....you need to turn on dah news. Ole KJ dun trip out an drop a A bomb."

O-Man, he say "You lyin'."

I say, "Na un. I truthin'. For real. Seriously....KJ drop a A bomb."

W, he say..."What he say den? After you tell him dat?"

DC, he say....."Well, he got real quiet. Den he say "Oh sh*t." So I say, "So whachu gon do 'bout it."

O-Man, he say..."Whachu thank I gon do? I gon call Hillary."

I say "What?? Why you gon call Hillary?"

O-Man say"All I hear about da las six months of 2008 is whad gon happen when dat 3am phone call come in. Hillary kept sayin' she all dat and she be on da job 24-7 and she all dis and dat and everthang. Well, I gettin' ready to call Miss Thang and tell her to get her a$$ up and get on it."

W...he jes roared back a laughin'. He say, "I wisht I coulda ben a fly on dah wall. Scratch dat. She prolly throw a shoe through dah wall when she got dat call."

DC, he say "Well, she d@mn near did. When O-Man say dat's what he gon do, I start laughin' cuz I thought he was puttin' da fool on me, ya know? But den, when I sees he serious, I start snickerin' and say "Can I listen when you tell her?"

O-Man, he say, "Naw....den he start laughin' too. He say, well....ok....but you can't say nuttin'. I tell him I be quiet as a church mouse." So he calls her up. She answers da phone an not only she be haf asleep, she be mad.

She say "Who dis?" O-Man say, it's yo boss dat's who. You sleep? She say, "What da hell you thank I be doin' at dis hour? Cleanin' a closet?" O-Man, he say "Well, it's 3am." She say "I knowd what time it be. Whachu want fool?" O-Man, he say, "Well, Nawt Ko-rea done launched off a bomb. You better go hannel it." She say "What da..." O-Man, he say "Bye-bye (click) beotch!"

DC...he say "W.....I mean tah tell yah me an O-Man, we jes laughed for da next twenty minutes. An would you bah-lieve dat b*tch kept on callin O-Man back! He play it cool, though. He'd let it ring a couple times, he pick up and skys his voice and say "You must have the wrong number" and hang up on her. She musta called 20 times.....and we jes a laughin'. Finally, Miss O-Man, she come out and tell us ta knock it off cauz she fraid we gon wake dah girls up. Bout dat time, da phone rang again. Miss O-Man (now she don't know none of dis is going on....all she know is da phone is rangin, O-Man sittin' dere laughin his a$$ off, and she is MAD.) She pick up dat phone and she say I don know who dis is and I don care, but dis game is OVAH....rat NOW! She slam da phone down, she take it off dah hook and she tell O-Man ta get his a$$ in bed doubletime so she can get some sleep....an dat was dat."

W....(chucklin')...he say, "So what now, DC?"

DC...he say, "Well....I call you first to tell you about it cuz you is my numma 1 homie. But, now I gotta call Rush and da rest ta tell dem."

W...he say "Well peace out DC".

DC...he say "Word."